Captain America's Book of Modern References
by geekypinky
Summary: Captain America keeps a log book on all the modern references that he has encountered since being M.I.A for 70 years. Come join as he learns today's modern references and terms with the help of his fellow Avengers! Slight crack and OOC-ness. Rated T for language.
1. Pwn & Pwned

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own anything related to Marvel.

**A/N:** I was bored when I thought of this.

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**LOG #1**

**Date:** Saturday, June 2nd 2012

**Reference learned:** Pwn/Pwned

**Definition:** Derived from the word "own" or "owned", which is usually said when one has gained victory over another. The term was first used in a video game called "World of Warcraft". (_Note to self: Must try this game!_)

I was watching Tony and Thor acting childish again. Tony declared that with his suit, he could fly faster than Thor's hammer could. Thor, being the proud god that he is, challenged Tony to a face off.

True to what he said, Tony's suit was considerably faster than Thor's hammer. Once they both landed, Tony's mask flipped open and he shouted, and I quote, "YOU JUST GOT PWNED, YOU HAMMER-WEILDING SPAWN OF ODIN!"

Needless to say, Thor's hammer was fast enough to hit Tony squarely in the chest.

**END OF LOG.**


	2. Bromance

**A/N: **Wow! Thank you for the reviews! I didn't expect this random little thing to gain such a number of reviews and likes! A special thank you **to TheYellowArtist** for suggesting a few terms that ol' Cap here should learn. If you have any suggestions, please let me know!

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**LOG #2**

**Date:** Sunday, June 3rd 2012

**Reference learned:** Bromance

**Definition:** A combination of the word "brother" and "romance". It is a non-romantic, friendly, and close relationship that exists between two men, or a group of men. It's also usually used to express friendship.

We were at a bar and Tony had too much to drink. He started slurring up his words and I had to keep an eye on him seeing as I was the only one who couldn't get drunk; Thor was drinking beer as if it were water, Clint and Bruce were passed out and resting their heads on their arms on the table, and Natasha left earlier.

Tony then came up to me and told me that he "loves me", although he referred to me as a "90-something-year-old virgin". He then said that what we have is "special" and it can never be replaced, because, according to him, we share a "bromance so awesome it could shake the mountains." It took Natasha thirty minutes to explain to me what "bromance" meant after I bolted out from the bar.

Thank God it meant differently than what I actually thought.

**END OF LOG.**


	3. Google

**A/N:** Again, thank you all for the reviews and adding my story (or me!) to your favourite/alert list! By the way, if I spell certain words differently (favourite, colour, etc), it's because in my country (Malaysia), we use British English as a result from being ruled by the British. I also want to thank **TheYellowArtist** and **WhatTheCensoredXD** for their suggestions! I'll be using them a lot for the future chapters ;)

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**LOG #3**

**Date:** Monday, June 4th 2012

**Reference learned:** Google

**Definition:** A search engine available on the Internet which enables the user to search for answers to various questions. Kind of like a library, but bigger and faster.

I was asking Clint if there was another term for the word "booty" because when I was walking at Central Park, a young woman walked past me and said I have "a nice booty, and I don't mean the words pirates used". I asked Thor earlier, but he thought I meant "boots for small people".

Clint laughed and told me to find out for myself. I asked him why couldn't he tell me straight away but he said it would be better if I found out myself. He told me to Google the word up, so I asked Natasha for help in using the computer (I didn't dare to ask Tony again because of the "video" I saw on his computer).

She showed me how to access Google and told me to type in what I wanted answers for in that little white box. While she went to get a cup of coffee, I typed in the word "booty" and instantly saw images of the subject matter.

I fumbled to turn off the screen but I was too late; Natasha and Clint were already walking towards me. I could hear them laughing while I quickly left the room.

Tony now keeps playing a song with the words "I like big butts and I cannot lie" on repeat whenever I'm around.

At least I learned two new words today.

**END OF LOG.**


	4. LMAO

**A/N:** Hello to my readers! I still get giddy every time I receive a new review for my story or when someone adds it to their list of favourites or Story Alert! Thank you for the support, everyone! Lots of hugs and kisses (should you choose to accept it!).

**Pergjithshme:** I don't think Cap knows what it means! But he'll be learning a lot about it ;) And I'm glad that the Bromance chapter helped you as much as it helped Steve!

**Arrows the Wolf:** I've never heard of that term before, but I'll find a way to incorporate it into future chapters!

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**LOG #4**

**Date:** Wednesday, June 6th 2012

**Reference learned:** LMAO

**Definition:** An abbreviation of "Laughing My Ass Off". Often used to express laughter and display an extreme level of amusement in the Internet world.

I was reading the newspaper when Tony came barging into the room, talking on his phone. He was talking to someone and he said "Tell him I LMAO to that!"

I asked Thor if he knew what the term "LMAO" meant, and he said "These poor creatures, I'm afraid they've forgotten how to list the alphabets in their proper order" and went to look for more Pop-Tarts, shaking his head along the way. _(Note to self: Never ask Thor for help ever again, for he is just as clueless as me)_

After the whole Google fiasco (refer to **LOG#3**), I decided to try to search for the term using it and found out that it's actually an abbreviation of the four following words: Laughing my ass off.

The only "ass" that I know is a type of animal, so I asked Tony what an ass is. He instantly instructed JARVIS to play that "I like big butts" song.

Why would someone want to laugh their buttocks off?

**END OF LOG.**


	5. Facebook

**A/N:** HOLY WOW! Thank you so much for the massive reviews, Story Alerts, and Favourites, especially on the last chapter! I woke up to see my inbox full of e-mails from you guys and it just made my day! I would personally give all of you a hug each! Oh yeah, if you want, you can check out my Tumblr to see what else goes on in my head on a daily basis. My username there is the same as my pen name here! Props to **4everYoung93** for the inspiration behind this chapter! Also, I'll be removing the "date" part from future chapters from now on because I based them on the current date and I felt as if it restricted me from updating as frequently as I liked. Besides, I'm sure that learning a new word on a daily basis is confusing for Cap. HAHAHA!

**scintillatingshards:** I seem to be getting a few requests on YOLO, so I'll try that for the next chapter!

**TheFairyPrincessNinja-OcAbuser:** I know, right? But it's just so much fun to include in Thor as well!

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**LOG #5**

**Reference learned:** Facebook

**Definition:** A service available on the Internet where a person can keep in touch with their family and friends and also meet new people. It's like communicating, but more modern.

I learned of Facebook when Tony came barging in, demanding that everyone should add him on there because, as he said, "Who wouldn't want to be friends on Facebook with me?"

Thor said "But are we not your friends already, Man of Iron? Why do you need to put a book on your face?"

I was wondering the same thing.

Until Tony explained it to us and Thor left, muttering "Poor creatures. Having to resort to putting a book on their faces to be friends with people. Maybe this is some sort of custom here on Earth."

Thank God I understood it better than Thor. Maybe he's had too many Pop Tarts.

I asked Tony why do I need a Facebook account and he said I should meet new people and that I'm still "a virgin who needs to bang someone."

I don't understand why he would want me to hit someone.

**END OF LOG.**


	6. The Game

**A/N:** This chapter is a little bit different because this chapter is collaboration between **scintillatingshards** and me! She actually asked me if I could do a chapter about the Game and since that was the first time I heard of the game (dang it, I'm playing it now too! XD), she offered to write the chapter while I edit it. So here it is!

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**LOG #6**

**Reference learned:** The Game

**Definition:** A mind game. If you think of it, you lose_. (Note to self: I do not fully understand the rules. Must ask Natasha to explain them in greater detail.)_

I was playing cards with Natasha and Clint when Tony burst into the room shouting "I lost the Game!" and Natasha didn't even look up and groaned at him to go away.

Clint threw up his hands (I peeked a little at his cards) and said "Great! Now I lost the Game too. Do you have to tell everyone?"

I could hear the smugness in his voice when he said that it's part of the game and he has to tell us.

I was puzzled. I said that we weren't finished yet and that Tony wasn't a player, to which he replied with "But I am a player!" and said that he wasn't talking about our "stupid card game". _(Note to self: I'll show him stupid…)_

I said that I am not familiar with what game they're talking about because the only game I know that we're currently playing is the card game.

Tony sighed and asked if someone would "please explain to Captain Nineteen-Forty-Something about the Game" because he needs to announce on Facebook that he lost (refer to **LOG #5**).

Natasha explained to me that it was a mind game which is indirectly played by everyone in the world. She said that she just lost and since now that I know about the Game, I just lost as well. I said that I'm not playing it yet and she said that I am, so we exchanged a couple of "yes" and "no" between each other.

I think Clint got frustrated and announced that as of now, I am "an unofficial official player of the Game" and then he went on and on, complaining about how tired he is of always losing.

I pointed out that he's been busy this week, so there's no way he would have had enough time to play, to which he just hung his head, shook it, then announced that he was going out to get some fresh air.

Natasha stayed back and insisted that I'm playing the Game as of now.

I said the only game I play are card games, so she spent the next hour trying to explain the rules to me.

I still do not understand them.

I think I'm beginning to find a mutual understanding with Thor.

**END OF LOG.**


	7. YOLO

**A/N: **The much-requested YOLO! I'm sorry for constantly making Tony the punching-bag here, though. I promise to tone it down with future chapters!

**LOG #7**

**Reference learned:** YOLO

**Definition:** An abbreviation of "You Only Live Once". Usually means to live life to its fullest. _(Note to self: It is not, however, an excuse to be reckless)_

Tony invited, or forced, all of us to a bar last night. He insisted that since we've all been so busy, we should take a break and "let loose", as he puts it.

As usual, Tony had gotten drunk again due to a drinking contest he had with Thor. I still think that Tony should know better than to drink with a god.

Bruce was at a corner, watching the evening news. Clint and Natasha were trying to get Tony to stop. I can see that even drunk, Tony's still very... persistent.

Clint and Natasha's efforts seemed to be in vain, because Tony kept yelling "YOLO!" over and over again. Thor, thinking that it's a war cry, yelled "YOLO" as well and punched Tony's face.

Today, Tony's walking around with a headache and a heavily bruised eye.

Thor is nowhere to be seen.

Clint, Natasha, and Bruce were too busy laughing and recreating last night's events.

I shall rely on Google (refer to **LOG #3**) now.

**END OF LOG.**


	8. Fangirls

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own anything related to Marvel. Sadly.

**A/N:** Thank you everyone for the reviews, story alerts, and favourites! Magic sparkles for all of you!

**LOG #8**

**Reference learned:** Fangirls

**Definition: **A rabid breed of females who are obsessed with anything; mainly a celebrity or a fictional character. They tend to tackle and grope their target of obsession, usually trapping them in a massive hug.

The gym at SHIELD was down for renovations, so I had to look for a temporary alternative. I found a gym not far from my apartment and decided to just train there for the time being.

However, Thor said it wasn't a good idea because when he entered the gym asking for directions to the nearest shop selling Pop Tarts, he was "attacked by a group of females similar to animals in heat". He told me to not go in there if I valued my life. Tony agreed, saying that the gym was crowded with "fangirls".

Thor said he didn't see the girls holding any fans.

Tony sighed and explained to him what the term meant.

I wasn't interested because I thought Thor and Tony were just being silly and over-exaggerating again.

Besides, girls won't be interested in me. Tony once said that I was too old-fashioned for these modern girls.

I had no idea how wrong I was.

I came back from the gym with scratch marks all over and my clothes were battered.

Tony and Thor roared out in laughter.

Next time I'll stay and listen.

I learned that the hard way.

**END OF LOG.**


	9. Call of Duty

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own anything related to Marvel. Call of Duty belongs to its rightful owners.

**A/N:** THANK YOU! I was literally giddy when I saw how full my inbox was with reviews as well as notifications of those who have added this story to their Story Alert and Favourites list! Also, about this chapter, I'm not familiar with all the CoD games. I've played it before with my boyfriend, so I know what it's like. But due to the fact that I can't remember which CoD game it was, I'm just gonna call it by its general term, Call of Duty, so you guys can try to figure out which one it is! :D

**A/N #2:** Re-uploading this because of a typo I made with one of the characters. Sorry! Also changed something just a little bit.

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**LOG #9**

**Reference learned:** Call of Duty. Usually shortened to CoD.

**Definition:** A shooting video game. Usually set during various war periods. It's set in first-person shooting view, which kinda feels like you're actually shooting, but through a screen.

I was eating my PBJ sandwich when Clint suddenly came in and asked me if I was any good at video games.

I said I didn't know what video games were because the only games I've played were card games, board games, the pinball machine at the arcade, and the Game _(dang it, now I lost!)_.

Clint said that I'm going to like playing this game called Call of Duty, since I've lived through war. We all ended up at Tony's living room playing the game on a device they call the PlayStation 3 _(Note to self: Ask why it is spelled like that)_.

Clint and Tony were showing me how to play it and Thor came to join us to see what we were doing. At that moment, Tony's character ran in front of Clint's character and was pointing his gun directly towards him (facing the screen), ready to shoot.

Thor, thinking that the person in the television was using magic to appear in a "box", yelled "LOOK OUT! HE'S GOING TO SHOOT!" and threw his hammer at the screen, breaking it.

Everybody looked at Thor in shock as he summoned his hammer back and turned to look at us, saying that there was no need to thank him for "saving our lives from the man in the magic box".

_(Note to self: Don't bring Thor to the cinema. Ever.)_

**END OF LOG.**


	10. The Listen Game

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own anything related to Marvel.

**A/N:** Thank you everyone for the reviews and the loves! Sorry for the lack of update; I've been very busy with work (a reporter's work is never done!) and I've been trying to decide what to write about. To answer some questions, I choose what to write base on what I feel like writing on because it's actually quite a challenge to take ideas and try to turn them into something funny XD So if you have suggested an idea and I have not written it yet, don't feel disappointed! I'm just waiting for inspiration to hit me and sometimes I am like Steve, whereby I don't understand some terms, especially when it comes to games like The Game and this XD Props to **Dark Goddess Of Shadows** for explaining to me what the Listen Game is all about!

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**LOG #10**

**Reference learned:** The Listen Game

**Definition:** It's like Simon Says, but different. You basically ask some questions (any question, regardless if it makes sense or not) to someone. If you say "listen" before you ask the question, then the answer will always be "yes", whether it's true or not, and if you don't say "listen", the answer will always be "no".

I was reading a book when Tony came into the room and asked Thor if he would like to play a game. I doubt that Thor understood the last "game" we played (refer to LOG #6), so I don't think he'll understand this. But Thor agreed to it anyway and I noticed the mischievous look on Tony's face.

He asked "If I'm Iron Man, and Steve is Captain America, are you Thor?"

Thor answered "Yes, of course I am" to which Tony said "No". Thor instantly became confused and said "But I am Thor, man of iron!"

Tony then asked him again "Listen, does one plus one equal to eleven?" to which Thor answered "No" rather confidently. Tony said "Yes", to which I myself was starting to get confused. I was beginning to wonder if Tony was drunk again, but he looked perfectly fine to me.

Trying again, Tony asked "If an apple is an apple, does that make an orange an orange?" and Thor, who was already very confused, asked "I do not understand why you are asking all these questions, Stark Man."

Bruce, who just came in, explained to Thor the meaning of the game and said that the basic reason of it was to just "make the player look stupid".

Thor instantly yelled "NO ONE MAKES A FOOL OUT OF THOR ODINSON!", to which Tony quickly ran out of the room laughing while Thor chased him down the hallway.

I could hear Director Fury's voice among all the havoc, yelling at them to "stop acting like children" and "to start acting professional" when I heard a loud crashing noise and Director Fury shouting very colourful words.

Tony and Thor are going to be in a lot of trouble.

**END OF LOG.**


	11. YouTube

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own anything related to Marvel.

**A/N:** More than 100 reviews! THANK YOU EVERYONE! I wasn't expecting my little random idea conceived out of boredom to receive this much attention! I've been writing fan fiction for a number of years, actually (under different pen names), but this is the first time one of my fan fictions broke 100 reviews :'D Thank you so much for the support!

**Dark Goddess Of Shadows:** I'm glad you liked the previous chapter! And yes, I'm a reporter. I do everything Superman does, except the "Super" part XD

**WhatTheCensoredXD:** I'm glad! Yes, I also learn new things from my readers as well! It's a win-win thing :)

**Stark Itself:** Thank you! I'm currently brainstorming for new ways to add stories, so thank you for the suggestions! :D

**eunice is beast:** Awwww. Thank you! I'm glad that this story has been helpful to you! I'm glad to be of service, ma'am ;D

**Skyelah:** Yup, someone mentioned Bronies as well. I'm still trying to decide how to write that XD

**poppaeasabina:** Thank you for your input in the review section, which has brought something up for me to say. Please know that this is all for fun; this fan fiction is not meant to be taken seriously. Yes, I am aware that Steve being in the military has probably exposed him to a lot of slangs for a lot of things, but that's not the Steve I'm trying to portray here. The Captain that I'm portraying is an exaggeration of him not being familiar with the modern world and terms used by people nowadays, and is awkward when it comes to anything related to sex or crude language, much like how I'm over-exaggerating the characters of Thor and Tony. I apologise if this fan fiction has offended you in any way.

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**LOG #11**

**Reference learned:** YouTube

**Definition:** A video-sharing website. Users can view, upload, and submit videos on the Internet and it has an endless amount of videos on everything. _(Note to self: It's not the same website that Tony goes to)_

I was asking Natasha if she knew any movies I could watch which were related to World War 2 and she suggested one called Saving Private Ryan. She decided to show me a trailer of it, which is basically a short clip of a synopsis of the movie and it gives viewers a basic idea of what the movie is about.

She said she'll show me on a website called YouTube, which she explained to me what it was all about. She assured me that it isn't the same website where Tony views all his "videos".

At that time, Thor came into the room and asked us what were we watching and I could see Natasha suddenly standing up to cover the monitor. After the incident with Call of Duty (refer to LOG #9), we have been banned by Director Fury to watch or play anything related to fighting or shooting when Thor is in the room. Natasha said that we were just watching something on YouTube and Thor's expression turned to that of confusion.

She forgot that this was Thor she was speaking to.

Instantly, he asked "What is this MeTube that you speak of?" and Natasha corrected him with "it's YouTube" and he answered back with "That's what I said, wasn't it not? MeTube!"

I think they spent about five minutes arguing.

I decided to just bring Clint with me to go buy a, as they call it, DVD of it.

**END OF LOG.**


	12. Clubbing

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own anything related to Marvel.

**A/N:** Once again, thank you everyone for the reviews and for adding this story to your Favourites and Story Alerts! I'm sorry for not updating much at all; I've been busy with work. But I come bearing gifts! Apart from this update, I've also finally made a cover image for this story! Just scroll to the top and you'll see it next to the story summary. I apologise if this isn't as funny as the others; my creative juices have somehow run dry due to the formula of "Work Life".

**Stark Itself:** You should! I have not watched Mean Girls in forever, so maybe you should set up an account and write a parody of Mean Girls on the Avengers! I would read that! :D

**tawnyangel:** Thank you! Yeah, I always feel sad for Steve and Peggy. I've watched the movie tons of time and still get a bit teary-eyed when Steve had to crash-land the plane :'(

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**LOG #12**

**Reference learned:** Clubbing

**Definition:** A custom of visiting and gathering socially at nightclubs. Often used as a way of socializing and meeting new people.

Tony said that he wanted to try the new nightclub that just opened, so he tried to drag us all to come along with him to go "clubbing". Clint, Natasha, and Bruce didn't look interested and I was just confused. Thor was the only one who was interested (more like curious) because he wanted to know how can we "enjoy hitting people with clubs."

Clint tried explaining to him and although I managed to understand it, Thor still thought it meant actual clubbing.

You know, with clubs and all.

Like cavemen.

He said "I don't understand. Would it be simpler to call it dancing instead of clubbing? Why take away the simple context of it?"

For the first time, I have to agree.

Thor has a point there.

**END OF LOG.**


	13. Victoria's Secret

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own anything related to Marvel.

**A/N:** I've got some ideas from all the suggestions you've sent me, so I plan on working on those after this chapter! By the way, I got the inspiration for this because my friend just bought me some stuff from Victoria's Secret (I'm a VS junkie!) and I was so happy about it, then I asked myself this: Why don't I write a chapter on it? Once again, thank you all for your reviews and support! Magical hugs and kisses and sparkles to you all! :)

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**LOG #13**

**Reference learned:** Victoria's Secret

**Definition:** A brand selling women's wear, lingerie, and beauty products.

It was a few days before Pepper's birthday, so Tony dragged Thor, Bruce, and me along to go together with him to look for her present. I asked why did he had to bring us and he said he needed second opinions from us, but I didn't see the point in it since he's known Pepper for a long time. But we went anyway because _SOMEONE_ (a.k.a Tony) messed up with the sound system, so that anyone who spoke through the PA system sounded like chipmunks.

We ended up at a shopping mall and Thor was very amused by the automatic sliding doors, saying "Asgard should have these doors! You Midgardians have thought of this well before us! This is most impressive!". It took Tony and Bruce a while to tell him the works behind automatic sliding doors and Thor was still very impressed with how "mortals have progressed without magic".

I think after up to one hour of browsing around (with Thor stopping every once in a while to observe the many different shops), Tony finally stopped in front of this shop called Victoria's Secret. It still surprises me how... bold women of this era have turned out to be. Tony told me to "not be such a virgin about it" and follow him in.

While Tony was browsing for lingerie and perfumes, I tried to not stare at the pictures of the women in the shop. Don't they feel embarrassed wearing just their undergarments? I suppose I have to get used to the idea. These women do look attractive, though.

We had to quickly leave the shop because Thor kept asking every employee "Who is Victoria and what is her secret?"

**END OF LOG.**


	14. Siri

**A/N:** THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE REVIEWS AND FAVOURITES AND STORY ALERTS! Also, thank you for the recommendations! I would also like to apologise for the lack of updates. I've been busy with work and my youngest sister had a severe gastric attack so I had to take care of her when my Mum couldn't. Anyway, here is one requested chapter on Siri! A few of you have suggested it, so here it is! Enjoy! I'm not sure how Siri works (I only have an iPhone 4), but I have played around with my cousin's one XD And for all those asking: No, I'm not American. I'm Malaysian

**scintillatingshards:** I'm glad you liked it! Well, I can't take credit for it. You wrote it, I just edited it :)

**TheFairyPrincessNinja-OcAbuser:** Nobody knows Victoria's Secret. It's the secret of secrets!

**blown-transistor:** Yes! My boyfriend introduced me to Victoria's Secret and I've fallen in love with it!

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**LOG #14**

**Reference learned:** Siri

**Definition:** Kinda like a personal assistant in a phone. Like JARVIS (But Tony says JARVIS is way better. I think it's the accent).

I walked into the pantry to make myself a peanut-butter sandwich when I saw Natasha talking on her phone.

Well, it was more like she was talking _TO_ her phone.

She said "Siri, please make a reminder for me about my appointment this Wednesday" and I heard the thing reply her back. I asked her since when did JARVIS sounded like a woman and she said it wasn't, so she proceeded to explain to me about this iPhone (Note to self: They sure spell things funny in this era) and the artificial personal assistant in it called Siri.

She was showing me how to use it when all of a sudden Thor came in and said "Brethren! The Pop-Tarts are finished! Where may I acquire more Pop-Tarts?". Siri picked up his voice and instantly began to list down a couple of grocery stores nearby.

Thor, confused, asked who was that talking and Natasha showed him her phone. Thor's eyes lit up when he saw the small device and took it from Natasha, asking her what it is.

She explained to him on how to use Siri, and surprisingly he picked it up quickly. He began asking Siri all sorts of questions like "Why is New York City called The Big Apple when it doesn't resemble an apple?" and "What is Victoria's secret?" (He still won't let that one go).

It's been an hour and a half and he's still asking the phone all sorts of questions.

I guess someone needs to get Thor one of those iPhone 4S thingamajigs.

**END OF LOG.**


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